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Twitter Users Heckle Hoekstra En Masse
Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House.
In the hours since, the Twitter community has responded -- with massive heckling. Here's just a small sample of some of the best ones:
ArjunJaikumar @petehoekstra i spilled some lukewarm coffee on myself just now, which is somewhat analogous to being boiled in oil
chrisbaskind @petehoekstra My neighbor stopped me to talk today. Now I know what it is like to be questioned by the Basij!
luckbfern @petehoekstra I stand in solidarity with the oppressed rich white men of Repub Party in the House. #GOPfail Allah Akbar!
aciolino @petehoekstra Today I poked my finger on a hanger. Now I know what all those aborted babies go through.
ceedub7 @petehoekstra I got a splinter in my hand today. Felt just like Jesus getting nailed to the cross.
netw3rk @petehoekstra Someone walked in on me while I was in the bathroom. Reminded me of Pearl Harbor.
MattOrtega Walked out onto Constitution Ave in D.C. and was almost hit by a taxi. Reminded me of Tienanmen Square.
tharodge @petehoekstra maybe now is a good time to reconsider whether you are ready for national politics?
TahirDuckett @petehoekstra ran through the sprinklers this morning, claimed solidarity with victims of Hurricane Katrina
paganmist @petehoekstra Had to move all my stuff to a new office w/o a corner view. Now i know what the Trail of Tears was like. #GOPfail
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Josh
Matt
Eric
Brian
Yes because a minority opposition party that just lost control of the executive branch 6 months ago has so much in common with oppression.
Isn't the GOP the same people who want to bomb, bomb, bomb Iran? Hard to declare solidarity when you wish them dead.
June 17, 2009 6:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
They were gonna use the missiles that only kill bad people...
June 17, 2009 6:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well Freedom Bombs only kill bad people any way.
June 17, 2009 8:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
I burned my tongue on McDonald's "Freedom Fries". Now I know how Smoky the Bear felt.
June 18, 2009 6:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Twit of the day.
June 17, 2009 6:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
I like the idea of "twit of the day" as a regular.
June 18, 2009 10:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
And now, THIS.
June 17, 2009 6:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great! I laughed so hard that water came out of my nose -- now I also know what it is like to be waterboarded.
June 17, 2009 6:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
That is the best so far, I laughed so hard tears came to my eyes.
June 17, 2009 7:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Which is not unlike one's eyes being poked with a stick.
June 17, 2009 11:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
I am almost beginning to feel sorry for Republicans. Almost.
June 17, 2009 6:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Please don't feel sorry for them; they are incapable of empathy, and consider it one of the deadly sins (not 7, because they have added so many, like being poor, for example).
June 17, 2009 6:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Good! that comment was so incredibly ignorant, insensitive and stupid.
June 17, 2009 6:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
it was so ignorant, insensitive, and stupid, that reading it, I realized what it was like to be black in the deep south during Jim Crow.
June 17, 2009 10:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
I just quit smoking. Now I know what it's like to quit being a Republican.
June 18, 2009 6:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
I am almost beginning to feel sorry for Republicans. Almost.
June 17, 2009 6:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think they are awesome. Where else could we get daily confirmation of the permanence of their extinction as a national party.
June 17, 2009 7:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm sure the GOP have figured out a way to bomb just the evil Iranians already,....I wouldn't be surprised if they had the whitehouse that they would use this opportunity to attack Iran somehow or give Israel the green light to do so. They're not oppressed, they are mentally challenged. There is nothing the GOP won't use to politically pretend they haven't destoyed their own party themselves. It's like Palin standing up for abstinence for political gain and then getting upset about a comedian making a joke about the fact that her family doesn't practice what they preach and in the same breath mention that she supports the troops.
freak'n wackos!
June 17, 2009 6:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Exactly. Several of us have been talking about that -- the NeoCons taking advantage of the Iranian situation to "attack" -- by giving Israel the green light, or ... if they had been in power, doing it finally as they have always imagined. We're hoping (crossing fingers, chanting, checking the alignment of the planets) that nobody gets a bright idea (i.e. Cheney needs to be bunkered).
btw... A bear wandered into my yard last night, and now I know the utter terror of NIght of the Grizzlies.
June 18, 2009 2:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
oh, poor Peter. What's the use of representing your patch of a democracy if people can just go and say anything they want in public? It's a crime... wait, no it isn't. it's a democracy. crap.
June 17, 2009 6:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
that's some funny stuff; and at this point, mockery is the only way to deal with those idiots.
June 17, 2009 7:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
the deafening sound of all the raspberries ...
June 18, 2009 10:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
Eric: I'm enjoying your Twitter coverage quite a bit. You might considering running your tweets through http://www.quoteurl.com, which is free and seems to work really well for breakingtweets.com. This is not an ad.
June 17, 2009 7:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
/drama queen
June 17, 2009 7:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
Good replies.
June 17, 2009 7:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I am sickened by this. Just like the soldiers in WWII who liberated the Nazi extermination camps.
June 17, 2009 8:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
hoppy,
I was on a diet for a month, now I know what those in the Warsaw Ghetto went through.
June 18, 2009 2:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
You know, at first I thought Twitter was a ridiculous idea. But I'm starting to warm up to it. I haven't laughed so hard in a while.
June 17, 2009 8:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Awesome.
The trail of tears one really got me, cuz moving sucks.
I still think the douchebags outnumber the rest of us.
June 17, 2009 8:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
xxxxxxxxxx @petehoekstra Nancy Pelosi snubbed me in the hallway today. Now I know what Nelson Mandela experienced for 35 years!
June 17, 2009 8:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Tweets dissing politicians
are just like haiku
on back of an envelope.
June 17, 2009 10:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
You literally cannot make this stuff up.
(but I hope they keep it up anyway)
June 17, 2009 11:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
I skipped breakfast this morning, and by lunch I was starving. Suddenly I feel a kinship with Mahatma Gandhi, y'know, with all those hunger strikes he did.
June 17, 2009 11:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Friggin' LOL.
I might have to get on Twitter just to flame the Goopers!
AS IF I didn't already waste enough time on the Infernal Internets.
June 18, 2009 12:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
Is it just me, or are the Republicans, starting with Palin, doing an awful lot of WHINING lately? What is the acronym for it, WTB or something?
June 18, 2009 1:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
WATB
June 18, 2009 8:27 AM | Reply | Permalink
The whining didn't start with Palin. They ALWAYS whine. Remember Newt Gingrich? Karl Rove?
June 18, 2009 9:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
This stuff is too good to be true. Now I know solidarity with all those suffering masses who have laughed their asses off or been tickled to death. (Don't these idiots have advisors???ferchristsake??)
June 18, 2009 2:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
I had to drag myself out of bed today. Now I know what it's like to be a paraplegic.
Hoekstra/Idiot.
June 18, 2009 2:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
I had a fly in my soup during dinner last night. Now I know what Viktor Yushchenko went through.
June 18, 2009 9:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
MSNBC @ 9:44 et, they are showing a segment on the responses - too damn funny
June 18, 2009 9:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
"My mom made me carry the trash out to the alley. Now I know what the Bataan Death March was like!"
June 18, 2009 9:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
oh and I cleaned and bandaged up a neighbor kid's skinned knee - I'm Albert fucking Schweitzer !
June 18, 2009 10:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
It was warm
June 18, 2009 10:53 AM | Reply | Permalink
in my office, and a little stuffy. Just like Pompeii in 79 AD.
(would be funnier without the double post)
June 18, 2009 10:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
My boss just asked me to update our departmental web page... It's like I'm in a Soviet gulag.
June 18, 2009 11:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
Actually that one is probably pretty close.
C
June 18, 2009 2:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
I don't know what to call them anymore; I sort of like Poopy Pants Party; Gang Of Philistines has a nice ring and retains their acronym. Party of No is certainly accurate, and so is Party of Whiners.
June 18, 2009 11:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
I don't know what to call them anymore; I sort of like Poopy Pants Party; Gang Of Philistines has a nice ring and retains their acronym. Party of No is certainly accurate, and so is Party of Whiners.
Gang of Pussies?
Groaning Old Pansies?
Gets Offended Prematurely?
June 18, 2009 2:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Grandstanding Offensive People.
June 18, 2009 3:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
GOP = Gaggle of Paranoids
June 18, 2009 4:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
I fell asleep in the sun and now feel the sting of a sunburn. And racism.
June 18, 2009 11:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
Today, only kamikaze loyalists and those who have created their own unreality can still shamelessly call themselves Republicans. Arrogance and defiance in the face of failure, humiliation, rejection and continued self-destruction isn't just laughably farcical, it's ludicrous and pathetic. Republicans are the poster boys and girls for corporate shilling, irresponsibility, waste, negligence, corruption, fraud, incompetence, conspiracy, cover up and denial. All they dare offer is criticism because if they tried to offer detailed policy positions, they'd be exposed for their unrelenting sinister motives and destructive decision making. Can anyone remember the last time a Republican offered any policy that was legitimately constructive to the welfare of the MAJORITY of American citizens regarding social, economic, health care, pharmaceutical, insurance, environment, safety or corporate and government accountability policy issue? ANYTHING?
June 18, 2009 11:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
I occasionally throw out the same kind of question. Anything?
The only response I ever got, was that George Bush I did, during his administration....sign some sort of bill that was to help mentally challenged folks. It was a bill making life easier for them, or to make life tougher on anyone who abused them or took advantage. I can't remember. Seemed like a pretty nice thing to do
although, it really did not affect the MAJORITY.
The Corporate Schill Party basically spends their time trying to come up with lawyer/weasel words that sound like they have principles and scruples, and always seem to come down on the side of Authority or Corporations.
Such as, we can't hear about crimes dreamed up and ordered from White House sessions, because it would have a CHILLING effect on frank and honest advice to the Pres.
Or we can't have a public health plan, because it would be unfair competition to those honest and lovely folks in the insurance biz. You know, when you are trying to kill vampires, do you really care if some tactic is UNFAIR to the vampires?
Like....you don't want to remove that TICK from your neck....it would be unfair to the TICK.
June 18, 2009 2:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Americans with Disabilities Act -- passed overwhelmingly by a Democratic Congress, along with a civil rights act overturning a line of Renqhuist decisions which falslely narrowed the scope of prior disability discrimination statutes.
June 18, 2009 6:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
@ceedub7
"...netw3rk @petehoekstra Someone walked in on me while I was in the bathroom. Reminded me of Pearl Harbor."
I just snorted cranberry juice through my nose...too funny (now I want sue the Russian government for no apparent reason).
June 18, 2009 1:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is this guy coordinating his comments with Michelle Bachmann or are they just committed republican stooges who can't get enough national news media's attention with their lies and distortions. WTF!!!!!
June 18, 2009 2:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
I put a lampshade on my head and danced at a party, now I know what Pete Hoekstra looks like.
June 18, 2009 2:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
I had to pick up my dogs poop on a walk this morning. Now I know the pain they felt when cleaning up after Chernobyl.
June 18, 2009 2:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lost my Congressional seat in 2010, guess I know how Black people felt under Jim Crow.
June 18, 2009 2:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
My Daddy pounded a nail into his nose in a carny show and handled snakes in church and he didn't complain none so I know how it is to pay too much taxes.
June 18, 2009 2:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
I was served chai tea this morning. Now I know what it is like to be hemlocked like Socrates.
Then I touched my hot breakfast plate and felt solidarity with Joan of Arc.
June 18, 2009 2:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
I was out of work a few years ago. Now I know what the Great Depression was like.
Had the flu recently - it brought home to me the massive suffering caused by the bubonic plague during the little dark age of the 14th century.
I won $50 in the Lotto. Now I fully understand the elation felt by the banksters upon getting a $7 trillion infusion by the taxpayers.
I made a birdie in golf recently. Now I have all the confidence and ability of Tiger Woods.
June 18, 2009 2:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Got bitten on the cheek by a mosquito yesterday, now i know what it's like to be shot in the face by a vice president
June 18, 2009 2:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Kind of like a Haiku" - Josh Marshall
Surely Hoeckoo
June 18, 2009 2:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
I made some popcorn in the microwave and had this sudden empathy for the civilians of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
June 18, 2009 2:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
I woke up under my covers today, kinda like I was buried in a coal mine cave in.
June 18, 2009 2:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
My lip swelled up once. Now I know how the Elephant Man felt.
June 18, 2009 2:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
I had to plunger-out my toilet today. Now I understand how Mr. Hoekstra feels with his head stuck in his ass.
June 18, 2009 2:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
UnAud,
HAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAA
June 18, 2009 4:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Woke up with a stiffy this morning. Just like John Holmes.
Turned off the lights in my house, and suddenly it was like I was Helen Keller or something.
Gmail was slow today, and I felt as isolated as a Tehran Embassy Hostage.
June 18, 2009 2:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
I won a game of Risk last night. I am the reincarnation of Alexander the Great.
June 18, 2009 2:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
I ate a microwave burrito and got really bad gas. Now I know how the Jews felt at Auschwitz.
Too much?
June 18, 2009 3:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
Spilled a little gooey filling from my Toaster Strudel® this morning. Man, nothing is worse than a little napalm in the morning!
June 18, 2009 3:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
After cleaning off my desk this morning, I sneezed four times. I felt just like those people who lived through the Dust Bowl.
June 18, 2009 3:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
When I read these, I hear the voice of Kevin Nealon's Jack Handey from SNL's Deep Thoughts. Which makes them even better.
June 18, 2009 3:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Overheard Iranian Protestor to friend:
I was rounded up, beaten, had my family and my own life threatened and was tortured until I finally grovelled and apologized to Khameini.
Now I know just what it feels like to be a Republican who criticizes Rush Limbaugh.
June 18, 2009 3:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
A bug flew at my face ... it was just like I was in one of the Twin Towers on 9/11.
My dog licked my face ... and it was just like getting waterboarded.
A cat rubbed against my leg ... and I knew what it felt like to be raped.
I turned on my blowdryer ... and I felt like I was in Dresden for the firebombing.
I flipped over my pillow ... and it was exactly like the failed expedition to the South Pole.
I fed my goldfish ... and I knew exactly how Airbus passengers felt.
I went down my slip and slide ... and I felt like Capt. Sollenberger in the Hudson.
I scratched my arm with a sharp pencil ... and it was exactly like being in the cavalry at Little Big Horn.
June 18, 2009 3:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
I just went to my 10 year college re-union and it brought back a lot of crazy memories. Now I understand what it was like When Elie Wiesel went back to Buchenwald with Obama a few weeks ago.
June 18, 2009 3:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
I got a chill in bed last night, I now feel a kinship with Washington and his troops at Valley Forge.
June 18, 2009 4:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
I wore flip-flops into Neimann-Marcus ... now I know what Cheney felt like at Auschwitz.
June 18, 2009 3:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
HA!
June 19, 2009 3:39 AM | Reply | Permalink
Dang, I'm late to the dogpile! :(
Now I know how J.E.B. Stuart felt after he was late to the Battle of Gettysburg.
June 18, 2009 3:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
nice!
June 18, 2009 4:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Our two-year old had gas last evening. I'd never really appreciated the Tunguska Event until now.
June 18, 2009 3:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Haha, good one!
June 18, 2009 5:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
GregorZap
You were going to go only 1 for 8 (the South Pole joke has some panache) until you slipped in this little gem:
"I went down my slip and slide ... and I felt like Capt. Sollenberger in the Hudson."
2 for 8
and
Maybe the best ever.
June 18, 2009 3:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
I slipped on the plastic seat covers in my gramma's car this morning, now I know how Jackie Kennedy felt.....
June 18, 2009 3:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
I woke up this morning in a nasty mood, now I know what Republicans feel like.
June 18, 2009 4:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
My social security got cut recently. Now I know how the men in the Tuskegee Experiment felt.
June 18, 2009 4:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
My Social Security got cut. Now I know what it's like to be anti-gum'mint loon von Brunn.
June 18, 2009 6:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
I got pulled over today because my vehicle description matched that of one recently reported stolen. I now feel a new solidarity with my fellows in Guantanamo.
June 18, 2009 4:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
My boss piled more work on my desk today. Now I know how Sisyphus felt.
June 18, 2009 5:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
I had an argument with my girlfriend over where to eat. Now I know how john wayne bobbitt felt.
June 18, 2009 5:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
Got a physical this morning, No longer do I wonder how Abner Louima felt that day.
June 18, 2009 5:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dave, that one goes right over my head. Now I know what it's like to live through an asteroid near miss.
June 18, 2009 5:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Morbo,
Doctor dons rubber glove with greased finger, tells you to "bend over." Got it now? :-)
June 18, 2009 6:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Vegged out on TV this afternoon. Now I understand Terri Schiavo's plight.
June 18, 2009 5:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
I woke up from a nightmare in a sweat that I was a Republican. Now I know what waterboarding feels like.
June 18, 2009 6:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Slipped in the pool and almost got my hair wet. Now I know what the tsunami victims felt.
June 18, 2009 5:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
My catamaran capsized last week...now I know what it must've been like to be on the titanic.
June 18, 2009 5:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I was hungry and my gas grill leaked...it was just like Dachau.
June 18, 2009 5:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
I jusdt saw a Republican on TV. Now I know what's it's like to be a crybaby.
June 18, 2009 6:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
I posted this at C&L today (as Saint Augustine):
Last night I screwed another man's wife,
Now I know what its like being a Senator from Nevada.
June 18, 2009 6:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I imagined I was Pete Hoekstra. Now I know what it's like to be a waste of skin.
June 18, 2009 6:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Stop it people! I'm in pain from laughing so hard1
June 18, 2009 9:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
Me too. It's a similar pain to childbirth labor pain, I imagine.
June 18, 2009 9:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
What a twidiot!
June 18, 2009 11:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
One kid wanted McDonald's today, the other wanted Burger King. Now I know what Sophie felt like when she made her choice.
June 19, 2009 12:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sent an asinine Email today that made a couple of people think I'm an idiot. Now I know how Pete Hoekstra feels.
June 19, 2009 2:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
I had a nightmare that I was a Republican, and woke up in a sweat. Now I know what it's like to be waterboarded.
June 19, 2009 9:04 PM | Reply | Permalink