Here's your GOP-to-English translation

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama's "stimulus" bill;
Unless we're in control

(2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run healthcare;
What Obama-style government run healthcare means is irrelevant- we haven't bothered to check

(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation;
We opposed all environmental reforms that could actually work

(4) We support workers' right to secret ballot by opposing card check;
We will continue to misrepresent what card-check actually means

(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;
Fuck all those brown people

(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;
Damn the constitution, the generals outrank the commander-in-chief

(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;
We support starting as many more wars as we can't afford

(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;
Screw the fags

(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing and denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and
We will continue to make policy based on a certain yokel's facebook page

(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership;
Guns don't kill people, the GOP's policies do

POE Baby!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1KvgtEnABY

This is a Reagan promotion stunt. This purity test already exists. Follow the money.

Reagan is the GOP's safe word.

I guess Dubya was a democrat. Yuh learn sumthin everyday.

this is a hoot

they should have put Obama's name in there on every article of faith

also, apparently they miss the irony of supporting market-based health care and opposing rationing, but then they were just trying to stretch their anti-choice agenda to make it seem like they care about non-fetuses too

wait... only 7 of ten bedrock principles? Gotta love Republicans.

It's just like when Moses came down from Mt Sinai with his multiple choice, seven-outta-ten commandments.

New drinking game:
1) Read the new Republican purity test.
2) Drink a shot every time you see the words "oppose" or "opposing."

"We support market-based energy reforms" -- by opposing market-based energy reforms.

Ouch! My brain!

Hmmm. The "Proposed RNC Resolution on Reagan's Unity Principle for Support of Candidates" reads suspiciously like the "Proposed DNC Resolution on the Reality Principle for the Self-Immolation of Republican Candidates."

The Majority of people under 40 disagree with this resolution on every issue.

I'm not surprised at all. For some reason, bloggers - as well as MSM - continue to ignore Phyllis Schlafly and her Eagle Forum. She was responsible for the 2008 GOP convention platform and this appears to be cut from the same cloth. She was also instrumental in the elevation of Sarah Palin last year.
On NPR-Boston, she continually stated that Palin - not McCain - is leading the party, and this was recorded during the convention. In this interview, she made my blood freeze, but I certainly felt educated about what's really going on behind the scenes of the modern GOP. Ignore it your peril...
http://www.onpointradio.org/2008/09/the-soul-of-the-gop

And the GOP's Big Tent screams; "Shrinkage! We can't help it. The political waters are soooo cold!"

"Support by opposing" - lol

I want to try a few...

I support the rights of insurance companies to make huge profits by opposing their customers right to stand up for themselves.

I support women by opposing their right to choose what's best for themselves.

I support minorities by opposing other minorities.

I support Conservatism by opposing 'socialism'.

That is really an astounding list. It does not even pretend to be a set of principles, only opposition to Obama and particular legislation.

And in opposing Obama, they are also willing to alienate Libertarians who want to withdraw US troops throughout the world.

An observation on my part: Probably at least a third of the GOP's elected officials in the federal government can't pass this test.

It sounds like a circus tent that houses only sideshow acts and as P.T. Barnum said, a sucker is born every minute (or maybe we should say conceived).

You forget the implied and secret rules:

We need to overturn the Civil Rights Act so little brown people can't vote.

The only reason we lost in 2008 was because we didn't steal the election. We'll never let that happen again.

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt when Democrats are in charge, lower deficits when Democrats are in charge and lower taxes on those with the most money while taxing the poor and middle class by opposing bills like Obama's "stimulus" bill;

Fixed that for ya.

One of the hallmarks of the GOP is their ability to ignore history. Completely. And somehow they get away with it. They've never heard of Dick "Deficits Don't Matter" Cheney, or George W. "I took a surplus and turned it into the biggest deficit in the history of this country so I could put two wars on the national credit card and cut taxes on my rich corporate friends" Bush.

Amazing.

"a literal interpretation of an old saying of the Gipper's -- that someone who agreed with him 80% of the time is his friend, not his 20% enemy. Thus, this resolution sets 80% as a floor for support of GOP issues."

"that any candidates who disagrees with three out of ten of these shall be ineligible"

Boy math just isn't Repubs strong point. Isn't 80% 8 out of 10?

The conservative base of the GOP has been disassociating itself from its more moderate membership for a while now. Every time someone from their inner circle opens his/her mouth, their appeal to the majority of Americans further plummets.

At the current rate at which these Limbaugh-lovers are burning their bridges, the only way they will be able to return to the White House is by a coup.

I still don't know what "Obama-style" health care is; I'm familiar with the the House and Senate version but not Obama-style.

Actual headline over at Gawker: "You Must Be This Much of a Dick to Receive RNC Support"