Political gadfly and Hustler publisher Larry Flynt has an ingenious plan for stopping the ongoing oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, and it doesn’t have anything to do with bombs, relief wells or devices patented by Kevin Costner. Larry Flynt thinks that BP should use diapers — David Vitter’s diapers, to be precise.
Flynt apparently believes the unsubstantiated rumor that Vitter, in addition to his extensively documented predilection for prostitutes, is an active practitioner of a sexual fetish that involves one partner being diapered and the other partner changing those diapers. Having heard Vitter’s remarks that everyone should do their part to help the Gulf, he wrote Vitter to encourage him to donate the diapers used in the practice of that fetish in order to stop the flow of oil.
Is it a stunt? Sure. But Flynt is well known for his stunts, which included offering rewards to people with evidence that Republican members of Congress has affairs, publishing an account by a sex worker of her long-term business relationship with Vitter and the regular mailing of issues of his magazine to offices on Capitol Hill. But you have to admit that Flynt has a way with words, and the eye for a good opportunity to tweak Vitter for his now-public peccadilloes.
His full letter is below.
Dear Senator Vitter:
Forgive me for intruding on your valuable time. I know you are a very busy man, especially in regards to the current problems in the Gulf of Mexico. But that’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. I concur that everybody must do their part to solve this serious catastrophe. And that’s where I think you, in particular, can be of so much help.
As I understand it, you have some expertise regarding diapers. I have no idea how many diapers you actually have on hand (quite a collection from what I hear) but as you know, diapers are quite absorbent. So, when it comes to blocking the oil that’s gushing into the Gulf, they might be a very effective way of solving that problem. With that in mind, I urge you to donate your extensive diaper collection to BP so they can use them to stop the leak by creating, for want of a better term, a giant “plug.”
It could be a historic moment: An ecological disaster thwarted. And you’ll get the credit for it. In fact, when people hear the word “diaper” they will automatically think of you. Hell, they already do.
Please don’t piss away this golden opportunity.